аЯрЁБс>ўџ 79ўџџџ8џџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџьЅС` №ПbjbjЫsЫs 4*ЉЉџџџџџџЄђђђђђђђBФ "­ьJJJJJJJJ,......$™h*Rђ JJ  RђђJJgФФФ  ђJђJ,Ф ,ФФђђФJ> а5BЗœЦ:Ф}0­Ф+Pj+Ф+ђФLJZЄ@Фф4єJJJRRК JJJ­    DJ„ЮЄr ЄJЮr $*џџџџђђђђђђџџџџ Personal stories: guide for submissions 1. The Commission encourages the submission of personal stories that describe: (a) situations where members of a same-sex couple have been denied financial or employment-related entitlements or benefits that are available to people in heterosexual relationships (married or de facto) because of Australian laws (b) the impact on same-sex couples, and any children of same-sex couples, of being denied access to financial or employment-related entitlements or benefits that are available to heterosexual couples. My name is Darren Ball and I am 38 years old. I have identified as homosexual since I was 4 years old. In my lifetime, I have seen my friends incarcerated for sexual acts in private. Some have been bashed to death in the streets and run out of the homes and towns they grew up in and invested a lifetime into the local community. I have been the victim of frequent violence in the country Queensland towns in which I grew up, and yes, mental health, medical and hospital attention was needed at times. I have been the victim of discrimination relating to work and financial issues. I was not able to live in my hometown with my family and was forced to relocate to a major city for reasons of privacy and anonymity. I am an Educator by profession and have experienced substantial discrimination in the work place from my professional peers. At one point I wished to take a position as a “couple” with my partner eg country service roles, rural roles, and it was made clear to me that I would not be eligible to do so. Even after 13 years of de-facto relationship, I am not considered married. I am also aware that my relationship, even though it is more stable and long term than 50% of “marriages” cannot be considered when transfer occurs in my work. Whilst this has not been “pushed” by my employer, it is clear that if push came to shove, that I would have to leave my un-transferable partner to take a role away from our home. I am a country boy and the inability to work in these areas as an openly gay and openly “attached” means I see my family less than 3 times a year. We are very close and this hurts us all badly. In the past (pre 1992) I have not been supported by Police or authorities through protective actions such as identifying and prosecution of offenders and quickly received the message from these organisations that this would not be occurring and that I had better leave town or learn to fight. My partner is sick. He has an Acquired Brain Injury and resultant epilepsy and personality and communication deficits. We own a business and home together, but if he dies, I will not be legally entitled to his estate as if we were married. I have cared for him for 7 years. Goodbye house, cars, business and belongings. In addition, I have always desired to have children. Clearly this is not possible biologically, but I earn over $65,000 p/a, own my own home, 2 cars and have a broad and loving extended family. However, if I chose to apply to adopt – 2 of my cousins came into my family this way, I would not be considered in the same light as a heterosexual couple. In fact, my relationship is seen as a “negative”. If I asked to foster children, as a carer – I would not be considered in the most desirable group of candidates due to my relationship. I have business tax and income issues that could be resolved and minimised just like any other married couple – but I am not married nor have the status of any married heterosexual couple. I lose and Mr Howard’s tax men win. I wonder if Mr Costello could balance the books of the nation without having to extract extra tax from 10% of the countries population. As a gay man with a long term partner, I also cannot move to the UK with him (he has dual citizenship) because our relationship is not recognised by my own country, much less another country! I have started my life as a social outcast, and no doubt, will end my life that way if Mr Howard has his way. I actually do not wish to be “married”. I simply want a category of recognition that will allow me to confirm and state my commitment to my partner. I want what other families get in tax and social benefits. I laugh at each budget that promises them so much and me so little. I pay and pay and pay, but no one wants to acknowledge that! It’s good enough to take my money, but not to give me equal rights and benefits in return. Think for a moment how my partner and I started off our serious relationship – in a flood of silence with little support emotionally or financially from my family. However, when my sister and brother were married, there was a public ceremony, gifts to set up a home, financial support in terms of housing assistance and loan assistance, and most importantly, they got to stand in front of the family and friends gathered to declare their love and commitment publicly. They are certain of their obligations, rights and responsibilities to each other. There are formal divorce and financial property settlements and estate benefits and securities that I will never have access to. If Mr Howard and his team cannot see his discriminatory actions denying me a “marriage” in this context, he must surely not live in my Australia. I am embarrassed by the ignorance in his words and actions. Does he actually know and love a human in my position? Surely not. What right does anyone have to tell me that I do not belong to a family that includes just me and my partner? If Mr Howard had not had children, why would his relationship and “family” be any more valid than mine? I think it is not. Darren Ball [Details removed] '(m Ј  & ( с u С u ƒ Š Œ х я ABsЧ*ˆŠŸœЎЏСя№m†  ыst6uQ §јљ№угугугЯЫЯЫЯЧЯЧЯЧЯЧЯЫЯЫЯЫЯЫЯЫУЫЧПЧЫЧПЧПЧПЧПУПУПУЯУЛУhm